Oh, my gosh!!! So much that is so amazing emerges with our choice to stop running faster on the hamster wheel, give up "My" direction for my life, and literally make decisions only as they emerge from a deep and powerful source beyond our logical mind. I can only describe this process, one strongly happening for me, as becoming willing to allow Spirit to direct my life. As one of my friends and great teachers has recently said to me, at this point, the path narrows...you either do what you are here to do now, or you do not stay in body. (BTW, no particular judgment about that for many of us who have had near-death experiences. The belief is that consciousness, which is what we are, then just continues development and creation in some other way.)
But this powerful, emerging process then is re-vamping almost EVERYTHING in my life!!! My "mind" clearly does not know what to do except carry out each step put in front of it. Example,instead of continuing to work in the same office, I am changing directions in practice. And instead of "sweating" about selling my office furniture on sudden notice, I decided that it would "just get taken care of if I just did my part and trusted the rest. Less than two hours later someone was asking to buy some of the furniture!!
Not that I am not "freaking out" periodically about the hows of it all!!!!! But overall I KNOW that something far more powerful is emerging here!!
Part of the experience however is that my "logical" approach doesn't work!! Ego and logic at this point assume their appropriate positions as the "mail clerks" (as someone i know put it)...to carry information from the world around me to me and carry my directives back out into the manifested world. But the "my" is from a much deeper source...from my willingness to bring forth my particular part of life's unfoldment rather than just asking for what "I" want in the way "I" think I want it.
As this huge change in course unfolds, I am in the very unaccustomed position of asking...frequently...for the help that I am so unaccustomed to doing!!! I'm getting rides from people because my car "evaporated", I'm closing and moving my office (not all of my practice) and home within weeks and moving at least temporarily away from the ocean and many people I dearly love. It seems that I NEVER would have consciously made these decisions!!!!! But deep within me is the beginning of joy and light I can see at the end of the tunnel. The light may for now be only "as big as the spark of a sparkler on the Fourth of July", as another dear teacher says, but it IS there!! I CAN begin to see it!!! And it IS transformation in it's most fundamental form...a birthing process from one life into another.
I had told a friend months ago, feeling that so much of what had been the focus of my life was done, that I felt my life as it was was over. Not that I was or would die, but that my challenge now was to "create a new life". I knew that clearly. But I had asked, "How on earth do you create an entirely new life at the age of 69?" His response..."If your 92 year old mother is any example, you have a long way to go!" I think I'm beginning to find out the answer to my own question!! Ironically, in yet another way, it is the age-old "Let go and let God!" And I mean REALLY let go and REALLY let God!!! And so it is!!!!!!
So how does this process of trusting our deepest "true self", as Charles Whitfield would say, emerge for each of you? Where are you in this process. tentatively putting your toe in the water or doing a "cannonball" smack into the middle of the pool???? We all have unfolding lessons about trust...in whom and when and where and so forth. Go inside to find who YOU really are, and allow, as you choose, that knowing to emerge into YOUR own unique path, your own contribution to this great adventure of humankind at this time and this place.
Namaste!!
Pauline
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