Thoughts About Anger

I was recently participating in another forum with a discussion about anger and how it needed to be handled. A Zen master had said that "anger is not even a feeling", from his perspective, but covered up a "real feeling", either sadness or fear. Here are my thoughts:

To me, it seems that we need to separate the feelings from the behavior, though I know that thoughts themselves can be seen as "behavior". Outward expression of anger always stems from an internal dialogue, no matter how quickly it occurs, and I think that the references here are inviting a slowing down of the process to discover the origins. I absolutely agree that, if the internal "feelings" are examined carefully, we will find a thought (an interpretation of experience or perception, no matter how quickly it happens) that leads to the feeling.

And, absolutely, it seems that, underneath the "angry feeling" is always something else--sadness and fear. And sadness always has fear as a root also. Yes, we only get "angry" (the feeling) about something that matters to us!! What is it that we are sad about? Even deeper, what is it that we fear?

But, of course, I think that none of this discovery and resolution can happen if we just pretend that we never have any angry feelings to begin with. As for me, I certainly don't want to live in anger--it destroys my life energy if I allow that. But, for me, the way out has been to be honest with myself about how I feel, but with the responsibility to address it in a deeper internal way so that I can transform it. And that process absolutely leads to forgiveness, that is, a letting go of the hold of that energy on me and on the other.

And I am STILL in that process, but have made great progress, and now with far less anger and sadness and fear in my life in general. That means I mostly get to use my life energy for much more productive and rewarding things!

Just my thought regarding this discussion. What do others think?? Pauline

Thoughts About Our Shadow Side

Guess if I am going to do a Blog, I could (almost said "should"!) do it! Don't know where the first part of this year has gone! But, since I am beginning to participate in blogs on other sites, I am seeing how easy it is, so want to add some things here, hopefully with more frequency!

I just posted this on another site, but think it is relevant here also:

Thoughts About Our "Shadow Side"

In my way of thinking, "positive" and "negative" (the best of us and the shadow side) are always present and for good reasons. Our entire experience in life is based on "duality" (good/bad/right/wrong/up/down/black/white) because it serves as the backdrop and platform on which we can have these amazing life experiences. (Try imagining painting a picture on white canvas in a white room with only white paint! We need contrast!)

The problem isn't that there is the up/down or positive/negative. The challenge is that so often we want to acknowledge ONLY the "good" stuff and pretend that the other isn't there. Then it HAS to make itself known--usually through our "bummer" experiences.

When we can acknowledge and own ALL of it though (love and laughter as well as our anger and sadness, etc.) then WE GET TO CHOOSE! We get to DECIDE where we want to put our life energy according to our personal choices. If we want "Love", how do we support it in ourselves and others? If we choose not to have an angry world, how do we find and transform our own sources of anger--the part we CAN do something about? For me, knowing the "shadow" side offers the possibility of not having "It" control me, but of having true choice and being able then to feel more in charge of my life.

Just my thoughts for consideration. What do you think?

In peace and love,

Dr. DeLozier