I was recently participating in another forum with a discussion about anger and how it needed to be handled. A Zen master had said that "anger is not even a feeling", from his perspective, but covered up a "real feeling", either sadness or fear. Here are my thoughts:
To me, it seems that we need to separate the feelings from the behavior, though I know that thoughts themselves can be seen as "behavior". Outward expression of anger always stems from an internal dialogue, no matter how quickly it occurs, and I think that the references here are inviting a slowing down of the process to discover the origins. I absolutely agree that, if the internal "feelings" are examined carefully, we will find a thought (an interpretation of experience or perception, no matter how quickly it happens) that leads to the feeling.
And, absolutely, it seems that, underneath the "angry feeling" is always something else--sadness and fear. And sadness always has fear as a root also. Yes, we only get "angry" (the feeling) about something that matters to us!! What is it that we are sad about? Even deeper, what is it that we fear?
But, of course, I think that none of this discovery and resolution can happen if we just pretend that we never have any angry feelings to begin with. As for me, I certainly don't want to live in anger--it destroys my life energy if I allow that. But, for me, the way out has been to be honest with myself about how I feel, but with the responsibility to address it in a deeper internal way so that I can transform it. And that process absolutely leads to forgiveness, that is, a letting go of the hold of that energy on me and on the other.
And I am STILL in that process, but have made great progress, and now with far less anger and sadness and fear in my life in general. That means I mostly get to use my life energy for much more productive and rewarding things!
Just my thought regarding this discussion. What do others think?? Pauline
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